Just a quick scan of my Facebook Newsfeed.

15 Things You Must Do In 2015
7 Things Successful People are Doing This Year
21 Healthy Foods You Should Be Eating In 2015

Know what I think when I see your motivational New Years post…. fuck it. Call me a New Years version of the Grinch, but your salads, new gym memberships and “365 blank pages” are bullshit. I’ll check in with you on January 13th and see how you’re doing.

With that said, enjoy your diets, caffeine withdrawals and crowded gyms – I’ve got other plans. Here are the 10 things I’m going to stop worrying about come 2015.

Welcome to my 2015 F*ck It List

Make new friends

Fuck it. I’m almost 29. I don’t need to go out and try to make “new” friends. Chances are I won’t have time to hang out with them anyway. Why waste the time? Now don’t get me wrong, if I make new friends in a natural way – awesome! But fuck going to social gatherings with the sole purpose of growing my Friday night contact list.

Swear Less

Fuck it. Besides, scientific studies have proven that in most cases people who swear frequently are more intelligent.

Go To Bed Early

Fuck it. I’m not in the 2nd grade, I don’t need to be in bed by 9:00pm. I’m an adult, damn it. If I want to stay up all night eating Doritos and playing Playstation, I will.

Grow Up

Fuck it and fuck that. I’m never giving up my video games, nerdy websites, comedies and sports. That’s who I am.

Set a Budget

Fuck it. My annual income has almost doubled year-after-year for 3 years in a row. If I want to reward myself, my family and my girlfriend with cool, useless, material items – fuck it. I’m gonna. If I want to go to Starbucks 8 times a week, Chipotle twice, Jersey’s Mikes three times – fuck it. I’m gonna. I’ve earned it.

Get In Shape

Fuck it. I was born with a body that looks like a gallon of bagged milk. I’m not in college anymore. Having a 6-pack has literally zero value or impact on my life or career. I’ll keep paying for my gym membership and go sparingly. But sticking to a strict workout plan and diet? Fuck it.

Be More Social

Fuck it. I suck at small talk. Seriously. I honestly don’t care what you did last weekend. I don’t care about your kids most recent milestone. But I’m courteous enough to ask questions, nod my approval and force a smile. It’s not that I’m some cold-hearted selfish person. I’m just an extreme introvert and that crap is painful for me. Unless we have a genuine relationship, dare I even say friendship, I’ll do my best to avoid any and all awkward conversation.

Fit in

Fuck it. According to common law marriage, I’m already a married man with a wife who’s sexy as hell. Honestly, way too attractive to be married to me. I have two kids and not enough time to give enough fucks about fitting in. I’m done worrying about standing out in a crowd or what someone might think about what I do.

Take Less Risks

Fuck it. If I stayed inside the box and didn’t take the risks I’ve taken before, I’d be working the front desk of a hotel somewhere making $12 an hour and hating every second of it. But, I’ve secretly grown complacent in the successes I’ve had and this will be the year I take as many calculated and exciting risks as possible. Because, fuck it.

Be More Professional

Fuck it. If this blog tells you anything, fitting in professionally is not on my agenda. I’ve honestly had people raise concern about employing or working with me due to my sizable social media footprint filled with outlandish statements, blogs, cringe worthy posts and unflattering photos. Is this communist Russia? Besides, the misfits are usually the most creative. The most creative are who you should be investing in right now.

Discount what I know professionally because I don’t fit the mold. Go ahead. I won’t mind.

Happy New Years!
I hope you give as many fucks as I do in 2015!

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