Is it change you seek? Or a destination?

This is an important question to ask because it represents where the two roads split. A fracturing point in the conversation.

Based on the response, all parties must seek to align – or not. We all have the power to make that decision too.

See, if it’s a destination you, your client, your spouse seek – then it’s a fact driven conversation.

Google Maps is the holy grail of leading a fact driven conversation. Just get to the destination. Turn-by-turn. Facts only please.

Go left here. Drive three miles. Take a right. There’s a crash up ahead. Rerouting. You’ve arrived.

Any information that distracts from getting to the destination causes friction. Friction is the enemy of a destination driven conversation.

But, it’s important to note that Google Maps never asks why. Why do you want to go to California? What do you hope to see when you get there? What types of memories are you hoping to come away with? Are you hoping to be changed by this journey? Do you want to see something different? Do you want to feel something different?

Google Maps can’t ask these questions because that’s not why we have Google Map’s on our phones. Just get me to my destination!

But, the answers to these questions may change the destination. Change the person.

If it’s change you, your client, your spouse seek – then it’s emotion you need. People are moved to action by emotion. Action is emotion. Action ceases to exist without emotion.

Facts don’t change people. Facts don’t change organizations. Facts won’t change your spouses opinion of you. Emotion has the ability to change all.

When you find yourself in a conversation about change, start by asking the questions: “Well, how do you feel about this? How would your customers feel about this? How would your spouse feel about this if s/he knew? How should I feel about this?”

Getting answers to these questions creates an invitation to ask more emotion based questions. And when emotions are on the table, widespread change becomes an option.

So, next time you find yourself at dinner with your significant other, or sitting in a meeting room with your client, ask if it’s change they seek or simply a route to a destination. Then orient the conversation around that.

And if they ever say they aren’t open to discussing change, or the emotional aspects of their life or business with you – because you’re the Google Maps in their life – well, there may be a change of your own on the horizon.

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